


The Blame Lies Somewhere

by Ever_After_AAA



Category: Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Self-Hatred, Survivor Guilt, oliver is sad yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25581712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ever_After_AAA/pseuds/Ever_After_AAA
Summary: Oliver is at fault here. He went in the car and mom died. Phil died. He doesn't know why he didn't
Relationships: Alicia & Oliver (Ni No Kuni), Jairo | Swaine & Maru | Esther & Oliver (Ni no Kuni) & Shizuku | Drippy, Mark | Phillip & Oliver (Ni No Kuni)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	The Blame Lies Somewhere

Phil had made the car. They did it. They did it and they were going to drive it tonight! Oliver couldn’t wait. They were going to have so much fun.  
  
Oliver is driving and it's exhilarating. He's going so fast and the ground moves sleekly beneath him. Until it doesn’t. Until it bumps and stutters and trips and swerves. Until the car breaks, until the wheel falls off. Until Oliver takes a turn into the ditch. But it's not the ditch. It's the river. Oliver has never learned how to swim.  
  
Oliver goes into the water. He can wiggle out of the car, he knows, theoretically, how to swim but he's never swam before. He can't get to the surface. He sees Phil running to him through the dark water, and he sees Phil trip and fall.   
  
Phil lands with a splash in the river bank. They swims to Oliver but they can't hold the two of them up, not with Oliver flailing and nothing keeping them buoyant. Oliver doesn't notice, not when there's water everywhere and he knows not to breathe because he’ll drown.   
  
His mom is here. She pulls the two of them out, saves the two of them and Oliver is so scared. Phil is coughing.  
  
Other people in the town are there. Phil’s dad is there and he's holding on to Phil like his life depends on it. Oliver's mom is doing the same to him. She's out of breath. But they're safe. No one drowned. No one died. The worst thing that happened was Phil's sprained ankle.  
  
And then. Oliver's mom has a heart attack. She falls and Oliver is so scared because the danger should be over. But it's not. She has to go to the hospital. Phil needs a cast. Oliver's mom dies and Phil is back and with him and they're holding Oliver and he needs it. Oliver is so scared and he so glad Phil is ok too, that he hasn't lost his best friend, that Phil is not going to-  
  
Sometimes, when people are saved from drowning, they can die anyway. People can finish drowning on dry land. Phil drowns on dry land. They go to bed with trouble breathing and don’t wake up. They drown in their sleep. Oliver's best friend is gone. Like his mom. Oliver is alone. Miss Leila offers to take care of him but… they aren't close. His mom and miss Leila were, sure, but Oliver and her aren't close. She isn't his mom. And Phil’s dad is destroyed. Phillip was his only child, his only family and he's just as alone as Oliver is right now.  
  
Oliver can’t sleep. He can’t eat. He can’t drink. He can't even breathe. Not alone. He lays on his bed and he hasn’t cried yet. He hasn't cried but his mom is dead, the person who knew his heart best was dead . He hasn’t cried but his best friend, the one he loved with all his heart is dead. Oliver wishes he were sobbing, so he didn’t feel like he wasn’t grieving, so he didn't feel like he was heartless. A heartless monster who killed his best friend. A heartless monster who killed his mom.  
  
It's his fault. Phil lived. Phil lived right next to him. Oliver has heard his dad yelling at Miss Leila, because his son is dead. He heard him call him a killer, heard Phil’s dad blame Oliver and Oliver doesn't want to go and defend himself because it's true. He killed his best friend and isn't even crying about it. He killed his mom and isn’t even crying about it.  
  
He throws the glass of water that Leila brought him at the wall and it shatters. Glass and liquid rain onto his floor. It's been a month. Its been a fucking month and Oliver hasn’t cried. His doll, the one his mom made him and Phil made fun of and at least they were alive to. His doll is staring at him. It's blaming him. It has to be. It's his fault. He killed them, didn’t he. He grabs his doll and finally, finally fucking finally the tears come. He isn't a monster, he's crying he wouldn't be crying if he was a monster. But he wasn't. So he was a monster for a while but not anymore. He holds his doll and cries because he fucking has to. Because it hurts.  
  
He misses them. They're gone and he's alone and he misses them because he killed them. He killed his mom and his best friend.  
  
His doll glows and grows and turns into someone. A person. And the first thing they do is ask him why he's crying. Ask him why, why did he do the only thing that makes him feel like less of a monster.  
  
Oliver turns around and lays on his bed. He doesn’t want to see this person, see this illusion that just is there to make him feel worse. He's talking, he says his name is Drippy, says his world is in danger but Oliver doesn’t care, he can’t care, he won’t care about this world that doesn’t care about him. He’s hurting and his everything just died twice and he doesn’t care.  
  
But saving that world could bring his mom back. He can fix something. He doesn’t really… believe, this doll, when he says that his mom can come back, but he’s desperate. Even for just one of the people he's lost. If this is true, if the doll- if Drippy knows how to save his mom it's worth it. Oliver hopes he isn't lying, hopes that Drippy isn’t pretending to be able to fix it in order to fix something of his, but it's a chance Oliver is willing to take. He follows the doll to the fireplace, to the girl outside with the stick, but he casts gateway in his home. He can’t go out there, around the people that seem to pity him but must know that he killed them.  
  
Oliver doesn’t like talking. He doesn’t want to talk right now. Drippy does most of the talking in the forest. People stare at them, once they get to Ding Dong Dell. They know. Oliver doesn’t know how but they must know, they must know his best friend is dead because of him, his mom is dead because of him they know and they're watching him to make sure he doesn't do it again they have to why are they staring if they don't- some child comments on his clothes. They’re strange. The child says so. The child doesn’t say they belong to a murderer. The child only thinks his clothes are strange. Everyone only thinks his clothes are strange. That's it. That can be fixed. Odd clothes are temporary, but the blood on Oliver's hands is not.   
  
They go to the Hootique and get new clothes.  
  
They get clearance into the castle and the king is willing to get his wand, but he hasn’t seen it for over a month. It is in the sewers, where the mouse king stole it. They go down and it's wet and mucky and not unlike the water that killed people he loved. Oliver wants to leave. They find a large room, a lonely, sad mouse. The air is somber. The king of the mice is crying. Drippy pays no mind and demands the wand. Oliver doesn’t like how he does it. He ignores his doll and he doesn’t know why the mouse is upset and he offers help. The king lost his child, Pip, a month ago. Oliver doesn’t know what losing a child is like, but it can’t be that much different than a mother, than a best friend.  
  
The mouse grieves. Oliver lets him. He stops drippy from being mean. The mouse lets them have the wand. What’s a rivalry when someone you love is dead. They leave the sewers peacefully.  
  
They're in Al Mamoon, and the girl is heartbroken. They want Rashaads help but his daughter is almost gone. Oliver will get her back. Rashaad won’t help them but he doesn’t deserve to not have his child. They go to motorville and help her from there and Oliver is glad Myrtle and Esther are happy again. He doesn’t feel happy, though. He just feels loss and loss and lost. Esther insists on going with him to save his mom. Oliver doesn’t say no.  
  
In Castaway Cove, the thief is hurting. Oliver can see it, he looks like the mouse in Ding Dong Dell. Something hurt him but he won’t tell them what, after his nightmare is healed. Oliver doesn’t force him too.  
  
Swaine has lost a parent too. He knows what it feels like, to have been through Oliver has been through. Oliver knows what Swaine is going through far too intimately. Oliver still doesn’t talk. He doesn’t know how to bring up his own pain, even to someone who's experienced it. It hurts. The only person who knows he's killed is mom and friend is Drippy, and he doesn’t seem to care.  
  
They see a vision of Alicia in the Glittering Grotto and it hurts. She vanishes and Oliver is crying. He won’t talk. It worries Swaine. What happened to make Oliver cry. Why is this kid so upset. Swaine tries to help but Oliver wont talk. He just cries. He's fallen to his knees and is sobbing. He's so upset. Swaine wants to help. He hates when children cry. Oliver clings to him and cries. He cries over something and Swaine doesn’t ask. Not yet. When he is better he will try. But that's not what he needs right now. Swaine holds him and Esther does too and they can wait until he doesn’t need it.  
  
Oliver doesn’t want to tell them. He doesn’t want them to know people died because of him. He doesn’t want them to know it's his fault people are dead. But they deserve to know. They deserve to know who they’re traveling with. They comfort him. Somehow they don’t blame him. Oliver wishes they did.  
  
The king of the mice steals the holy wood, before they get to Ding Dong Dell. He’s angry and hurt and grieving still. Drippy says his soulmate is brokenhearted, and Oliver thinks he knows who it is. Who else lost their child. Who else lost everything, besides himself?  
  
Oliver goes to Motorville to fix him and changes from the strange clothes to stranger clothes and talks to Phil’s dad. He's so mad. Of course he is. Oliver is so sorry. They fight the nightmare and his dad is so upset and he's sad and Oliver is sad because they've both lost this incredible person who meant the world to them. Phil is gone. Oliver and Phil’s dad hug and they're not the person they lost but they’re somebody. Neither of them are Phil but they both loved Phil. They both cared about Allie. They’re comfort, right now. They are what they need.  
  
The king of the mice gives them the wood back. He talks about his child and his love of cloud sweepers and Oliver tells him about Phil, who would have loved to see what Pip would have made. They feel better, afterward.  
  
Alicia is gone. Forever. But Drippy wasn’t lying, he's sad. He missed Alicia, Alicia meant something to him. It hurts. But this is something his mom needed to happen, defeating Shadar. She wanted this to happen. So Oliver will finish it. Shadar is in front of him and he is his soulmate but Oliver doesn’t care, not after all of this. He doesn't want Shadar to kill anyone. He’s scared. He's hurt. He doesn't deserve to have his hands bathed in blood.  
  
Oliver will not back down. He does this for Phil. He does this for his Mom. He can do it.


End file.
